Relinquishing Yesterday
by Isis FG
Summary: B/A fic - post-Chosen - 5th in the 'Finding Tomorrow' series...final part in Buffy's journey back to Angel... *COMPLETE*


Title: Relinquishing Yesterday  
  
Author: Isis Blue  
  
Started: May 25, 2003  
  
Completed: May 25, 2003  
  
Feedback: Yes please, I'm a feedback junkie: vagabond_angel@comcast.net  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, all the people at ME, Fox, UPN, etc who awed and tortured us for seven years own 'em  
  
Rating: PG 13.pushing light R maybe  
  
Pairing: B/A all the way!  
  
Summary: sequel to 'Reclaiming Home' (3rd in the 'Finding Tomorrow' trilogy).continues where 'Reclaiming Home' left off  
  
Spoilers: the end of BTVS s7, so don't read this if you haven't seen the finale and don't want to know what happens!  
  
Distribution: my site (Vagabond Soul), ff.net, BA_Fluff list, and LoD; & Starrkitty's Archive if they wants it, anyone else, just ask first.  
  
Author's Notes: So I turned this into a trilogy now titled 'Finding Tomorrow'. I thought the storyline was in need of more B/A. This is what you get. There won't be anymore after this though!  
  
AN2: Lyrics are from 'Back Into Your System' by Saliva off their album 'Back Into Your System'.  
  
AN3: Thank you to those of you who sent feedback for 'Reclaiming Home': Crystal, Lauren, Jocelyn, Kristin, Reed, Christine, Terri, buffykicks277, Buffy/Friends Fan, Dragonqueen, Shahid, Tariq, Laura, and Ashleigh.  
  
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^  
  
*Buffy's POV*  
  
//I've been gone away  
But I'm back again  
Back with all of my friends  
And I've been floating away//  
  
The second his lips touch mine the rest of the world seems to just fall away. The only thing I'm aware of is his body pressed against mine. And maybe also the rock that is jabbing into my hip, but I barely notice that.  
  
I can't help but wonder how I went so long separated from him. Not just while I was away, but all the years when he was in Los Angeles and I remained in Sunnydale. We tried to kid ourselves, we let others push us farther away, but in the end it we circled back to each other. It was meant to be that way.  
  
//On a silver cloud  
Lined with all of my wildest dreams  
I'm back in your system now  
And I've waited much too long//  
  
We had to grow before we could return to each other. There may have been things standing in our way before, but maybe we also weren't ready. I was so young, knew so little about the world and myself. And Angel, he was still struggling to overcome his past and finding where he belonged in this crazy world we live in.  
  
I guess you could say we're both cookies now. Or maybe I'm the crunchy cookie part and he's the chocolate chips and together we make a whole cookie. I can't help but laugh at myself. What is it with this cookie analogy?  
  
//I'm back in your system now  
And I'm finally coming home  
I've been thinking of the days  
Back when we began//  
  
But all thoughts of cookies fly out of my head when I feel his mouth move across my jaw and down my neck. Is it suddenly getting hotter out or is it just me? I'm tempted to let him continue, I crave the feel of his body on me, around me, inside me. But as much as I want it, the rocks poking at various parts of my body remind me that we're sitting in a giant crater.  
  
I pull away slightly, placing a kiss full of promises on his lips before speaking. "Take me home, my Angel."  
  
//When we made our first stand  
And I get taken away  
On a silver cloud  
Lined with all of our wildest dreams//  
  
His smile makes me quiver inside. I don't object when he picks me and carries me out of the hole in the ground that once upon a time had been my home. I ask him to wait for a minute when we reach the surface. He must have known why because he turns with me in his arms so that I can look out over the former town of Sunnydale.  
  
It's time to say goodbye. Goodbye to the places, the people, the memories, and the life the used to be part of this town. They'll never be forgotten. They'll always be a part of me. But it's time to move on. Time to leave yesterday in the past and look forward to tomorrow. And I can't help but smile at what tomorrow might bring.  
  
//I'm back in your system now  
And I've waited much too long  
I'm back in your system now  
And I'm finally coming home//  
  
With one last look I say my final goodbye to my old life before tucking my head into the curve of Angel's neck. His arms hold me closer as he turns and walks to his car. I don't bother to ask what happened to my car. He probably had someone come pick it up. It doesn't really matter.  
  
I sleep through the drive to Los Angeles with my head resting against his thigh. It's past four a.m. when we finally arrive at the hotel. The inside is dark and quiet. I'm almost glad. I want to see the others, but for now, I just want my Angel. For a little while longer I want to be surrounded by him and only him.  
  
//I'm back into your system  
And there's a way to find  
And there's a way to see  
And there's a way  
To get back into your system//  
  
We don't speak to each other. There aren't really any words to be said. So I just hold his hand as he leads me up the stairs, down a hallway, and into a suite of rooms that I can only assume are his. The only light comes from a few randomly placed candles.  
  
I watch as he moves around the room and notice that the things that had been in my car are now placed among his belongings. I raise my eyebrow at that, he only shrugs and gives me that half smile that makes me knees weak. How long has he known that I was on my way here? It probably wasn't that hard to figure out. Each of my phone calls recently came from places closer and closer to home.  
  
//There's a way to find  
And there's a way to see  
And there's a way to get  
Back into your system//  
  
He asks if I want to take a bath which I eagerly say yes too. The dirt and grime from the last leg of my journey as well as spending nearly a day in a hole in a ground feel heavy on my skin. So I follow him into the bathroom where he runs a bath for me, pouring in vanilla scented bubble bath and lighting a few candles. As he goes to leave the room I hold my hand out, silently asking him to join me. He doesn't decline.  
  
I'm nearly purring in contentment when I'm settled into the bath, his now warm, naked skin molded around me. He reverently washes every inch of my body. And when he's done I almost feel as if I've been cleansed of the past. The memories are still there, they always will be, but they no longer linger on my body.  
  
//And there's a way  
And to find a way  
And there's a way to see  
And there's a way to get  
Back into your system//  
  
I want to whimper when he climbs out of the tub, but he soon lifts me out also and dries me with a soft black towel. Typical Angel. Black towels. Who has black towels? I can see that I am going to have to get him to add some color into his life.  
  
It doesn't take me long to realize that he is standing there beside me with every delicious inch of his body exposed. Droplets of water are slowly trailing down his chest. I can't help but lick my lips at the sight. I know he must have been feeling the same way because I soon find myself pulled against him, our tongues battling for dominance.  
  
//Am I inside?  
I'm back in your system now  
And I've waited much to long//  
  
We somehow manage to make it out of the bathroom and find ourselves tangled together on the bed. I don't even notice the weight of his body on top of mine. Our mouths duel as our hands explore territory long neglected. When he pulls away slightly I stare into his eyes, the windows to his soul that I missed for so long.  
  
//I'm back in your system now  
And I'm finally coming home//  
  
"I love you," I whisper to him. It's been so long since I said those words to him.  
  
"I love you," he repeats back to me. And I can see the tears in his eyes. Mine are the same way. Neither of us were ever sure we'd reach this point again.  
  
//I'm back into your system  
And there's a way to find  
And there's a way to see  
And there's a way to get  
Back into your system//  
  
His eyes silently ask for permission. He doesn't need to, but he does anyway. That's the type of man he is. My only reply is to pull his mouth back to my own. When his body joins with mine I feel complete in a way that I haven't for so long. My heart, body and soul soar for the first time since that rainy night on my seventeenth birthday.  
  
When I awaken in his arms that afternoon his beautiful brown eyes are the first thing I see. It's then that I truly realize that I am finally home and that tomorrow has finally arrived. I lived day by day for so long, ignoring the possibility of a future, but now I have dreams and hopes for tomorrow and the days to come.  
  
//There's a way to find  
And there's a way to see  
And there's a way  
To get back into your system//  
  
I'll never forget the memories of the past, the good ones and the bad ones. They are part of what helped get me to where I am today. I no longer dwell on them, though. They are tucked away in my mind where I can look back on them whenever I need to. But it's time to make new memories. Time to finally experience all that life can offer. And as my Angel leans forward, whispering 'I love you' before placing a gentle kiss on my lips I know that whatever may come we'll be facing it together.  
  
//And there's a way to find a way  
And there's a way to see  
And there's a way to get  
Back into your system. //  
  
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^  
  
THE END!...feedback is very much appreciated! 


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